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Updated February 4, 2026 Reviewed by Abigail Fagan
Everyday conversation is a constant balancing act. We subtly adjust our tone, word choice, and emphasis depending on who we are speaking with and what we expect them to understand. These adjustments often happen so smoothly that we barely notice them at all.
But this process is not equally automatic for everyone. For many individuals with autism, navigating social interaction involves more deliberate engagement with the assumptions that guide conversation. When social anxiety is added to the mix, as it frequently is, the demands of everyday conversation can multiply.
Researchers have long pointed to differences in perspective-taking, flexibility, or social motivation to explain these challenges. What has been less clear, however, is how these differences play out in the moment-to-moment flow of real interaction.
A new study set out to explore this question. Autistic and non-autistic participants with varying levels of social anxiety were invited to play an online interaction game with two supposed partners. One was introduced as a child and the other as an adult. Unbeknownst to the participants, both “partners” were played by the same adult, who performed equally well in both roles.
During the game, participants worked with their partner to locate hidden objects on a digital board, alternating between the two presumed partners. As expected, both autistic and non-autistic participants initially used more emphasis when they believed they were interacting with the child. This mirrors everyday behavior: most of us instinctively adjust how we speak to children.
Over time, however, the two groups began to diverge. Non-autistic participants gradually revised their behavior. As evidence accumulated that the child partner was just as capable as the adult, they stopped treating the two differently. This shift occurred regardless of whether participants reported high or low social anxiety.
Autistic participants showed a different pattern. While they, too, adjusted their communication based on initial expectations, they were less likely to revise those adjustments over time. Even when the “child” partner consistently demonstrated adult-level understanding, autistic participants tended to maintain their original communication style.
The study then looked beyond the immediate exchange to ask whether early social experiences might help explain who adapts more quickly. Previous work suggests that early exposure to diverse social environments, such as daycare, can shape how flexibly people respond to others later in life.
This pattern held for non-autistic participants. Those who had spent more time in daycare during their early childhood were quicker to update their communication based on their partners’ actual performance. Importantly, this effect could not be explained by socioeconomic status or family background, pointing instead to early interactions with peers and non-familial caregivers as a key driver of social adaptability.
Autistic participants, however, did not show the same relationship. Early daycare experience did not predict greater flexibility in adapting to a partner’s demonstrated abilities. This suggests that the developmental pathways linking early social exposure to later communicative adaptation may differ in autism from very early on.
Taken together, these findings challenge a common misconception. Autistic individuals were not unwilling or unable to tailor their communication. On the contrary, they readily adjusted their behavior based on expectations about a partner. The difference lay in what happened next: revising those expectations in light of ongoing interaction.
Ultimately, the study reminds us that communication is not just about forming assumptions about others, but about meeting people as individuals through listening, adapting, and allowing conversation itself to reshape our understanding.
References
Koch, S.B.J., van Langen, J., Bašnáková, J. & Stolk, A. (2026). Partner-Dependent Communication Without Dynamic Adaptation in Autism. Autism.
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Arjen Stolk, Ph.D., is an Assistant Professor at Dartmouth College, where he directs the Mutual Understanding Laboratory. His research focuses on communication, social interactions, and autism spectrum disorder.
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The best way to begin something new—in love, work, and life.
Self Tests are all about you. Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.